Since I got the email that I passed the interview process of YSEALI PFP by ICMA last June, I’ve been too much excited yet maintain myself to be calm and be quiet as possible. I remember vividly how bad my interview was, that’s why the idea of me got this scholarship still a mystery for me. I definitely understand the last question of the interview, but I was too nervous that led me mumbling until the end of the interview. The interviewer even said with flat voice, “I’m done with you”, which in my interpretation means, “you’re busted”. Afterward, I refused to talk about it for 2 weeks, I even took my days off to calm myself. I feel so devastated that time. I’ve been waiting for it for about 3 months. I even have been practicing my interview long before I applied. The problem is not because I can’t speak English but the lack of self-esteem and my head issues that make everything goes wrong.
3 weeks after that disaster, a surprise came like a thunderstorm. I was selected as one of Indonesian delegates of YSEALI PFP by ICMA. I will join this prestige program in the most powerful country in the world, United States of America, for 5 whole weeks. I’m going to be placed alone at Jackson County, Michigan, the area of Rust Belt, the one that once was the heartland of industry in USA. I will increase my professional expertise in legislative and governance process theme. I will learn the best practice that has been applied in USA society. I will learn how data management in USA. I will learn and gain a lot of valuable experience. God, I was sobbing. That time was indeed the tears of joy.
Time passes, lots of emails and pre-departure assignments come and go. My visa, my flight ticket, my hotel reservation are all issued. I am gaining back my self-esteem. Until now, I’m still questioning myself, do I really deserve this?
Whatever it is, I’m now ready to bring change to my society.
Farewell Kupang, farewell Indonesia, I’ll see you again in November.